Voice of The Silenced
by TotalWeabz
Summary: Celeste is a high school senior plagued with a dark past of bullying. As a result she’s lost her voice, but through her fateful meeting with Ji Min, a terminal cancer patient, maybe she can find it again.


**Author's Note:** I was going through my GoogleDocs, and i found this story I wrote for a project when i was a high school freshman. Obviously amature-ish and a little cringey (I was going through a Koreaboo faze of sorts at this time lol), even so i worked really hard on this story and reading back, it's pretty decent. Im considering making a sequel. Maybe.

I wonder if they're just gonna stand there and watch me get beaten like this. All these people and no one's gonna help me? "N-no! Stop it please, it hurts!" I screech with a busted, bloody lip. I'm answered with sinister snickers and a painful blow to the right side of my face. 'Crack!' I feel my jaw shift far out of place, and at that moment excruciating pain causes me to let out an inhuman squeal. Tears pour out of me like a broken floodgate, leaving me with a barely visible view of the next blow approaching my face. The surrounding area resonates with a symphony of my dreadful squeals, my aggressors grunts, and a cruel echoing laughter from every direction. My surroundings are strangely dim, and I struggle to perceive the evil aura that's in the air. I tightly squint my eyes in order to properly see my attackers and the onlookers. All I see are black figures all around me. Suddenly, a powerful blow to my abdomen forces out any food that may have been in my stomach. I feel looks of malicious intent so evil that all the hairs on my body stand and my skin crawls as if a colony of ants were on it. I vomit for what feels like an eternity, and I start to feel hasty movement within my throat. Gradually the vomit is replaced by a hoard of insects, and my chest begins to feel like it was set ablaze. I try to scream for help from anybody, but my voice had already been taken from me by pain, terror, and shame. My body's had enough, and my consciousness starts to fade. As my eyelids force me to sleep, the last thing I see is my brunette hair become a pure white color against the jet black floor.

"Celeste, are you sure you don't want to dye your hair?" pesters my mom about my white hair, over the roar of the car's engine. "We can dye it back to the brunette color that it used to be, so you won't have to continuously tell people at school that you suffered Marie Antoinette Syndrome." School. I flinched to the mention of it. I hadn't been to school for about 3 years after the incident with the bullies. It's because of them that i've been taking online classes. It's because of them that the Syndrome took my hair color. It's because of them that I developed selective mutism. I'll be a senior by the time summer ends, so my mom wants to to re-experience school 'the right way'. What a bunch of bullshit. Since i'm unable to speak, I could only nod reluctantly when she brought up the stupid idea of going back to school. Why in heaven's name did i not decline? The car comes to a stop in front of Pandora Medical Center. "So do you want to dye your hair Celeste?" my mom asks again. I shake my head no in response, and write on my communication pad 'It's okay mom, i'll keep my hair like this'. I won't try to cover up my past. If i'm asked about it, i'll answer.

I sit impatiently in the hospital waiting room while my mom signs us in. Mom's an occupational therapist at this hospital, and has an appointment with a guy who's been diagnosed with Brain Cancer. I don't know why she brought me though. I'd rather be at home, away from the bright lights, and the nauseating medicine-like smell of the hospital. I bet she thought I could learn something so very heart-warming, that all my trauma would go away. I just wish she would hurry it up. There's only 3 weeks left of summer till D-day, and i'd like to spend that time doing something productive, that i actually like; sleeping. The wails of a disdained baby breaks the silence of the deserted waiting room. Great, noise, something I REALLY don't like. Annoyed, I turn around to glare at the new recipients and their baby. My heart sinks immediately because the baby is accompanied by faces I know all too well. Lindsay and Daniel. Fear like rain washes over me at the mere sight of them. Oh my God, what the hell are they doing here? I duck my shaking head down as far as I could manage, as if i'd instantly become invisible by doing that. Don't see me. Don't see me…

"Celeste? Is that you?" Shit. Hesitantly, I raise my head in response to Lindsay's voice over her crying baby. As our eyes meet, all the painful memories of the past hit me, and all I can think of is to run. 

I'm completely out of breathe by the time I dash into a hallway of mostly empty patient rooms. I try to catch my breath as silently as possible as to not disturb anyone, but i'm not an athlete, and all that running really took a toll on me. The shock of meeting with Lindsay and Daniel becomes too much for me to handle, and I slowly sink to the floor crying. I try my best to not sob so loudly, but I can't help it. Suddenly, I feel a warm, big hand on my back, and a deep but faint voice asks "Are you alright?" Surprised, I jump away from the mystery man, and turn to face him. The man stands up to full length, still watching me with a worried look. He looks tall, and seems to be about my age. The sight of him would have taken my breath away if I wasn't having a mental breakdown at the moment, because he's undeniably gorgeous. He has hazel colored eyes that match with his hair, tied up in a man bun. His face looks like it was sculpted by a skilled artisan. He looks kind of Korean. "Excuse me, are you alright?" he asks again with a faint korean accent. I quickly wipe my tears and write on my notebook "Yes, i'm alright." I try to stand, and the handsome Samaritan rushes to my side to help me. "Celeste! What are you doing all the way over here, I thought I told you to wait for me in the waiting room." I turn to see my mom rushing down the hallway towards us.

"Mrs. Taylor, nice to see you again. Is this your daughter?" asks the handsome Samaritan. "Oh! Ji Min, we were on our way to your room. I see you've already met my daughter, Celeste" replies my mom with a pleased voice. So this is the guy with Brain Cancer. Mom told me he was handsome, but damn. I'm still really shaken up, but I take a deep breathe and extend a hand out to shake with his. I manage to write with a shaky hand 'Hello Ji Min, i'm Celeste. It's nice to finally meet you, my Mom's told me a lot about you.' With a smile, he replies "Likewise Celeste."

It's been 2 weeks since I first met Ji Min at the hospital, and i've been going over to hang out with him almost everyday. Because of him i've been able to speak a little, so I don't really need my communication pad anymore. I love telling Ji Min about my past and listening to his story as well. He's told me that he moved here with his mom 5 years ago, after his father died while doing his mandatory military service. He tried his best to cope, and took English classes to better learn the language. Ji Min graduated from his high school when he was 18 and was soon to attend college, but was diagnosed with Brain Cancer. Sadly he's been in the hospital for a little over 2 years. He says that the only regret he would have if the Cancer took his life, is leaving his mother behind and all alone. Since his Cancer has already progressed to the final stages, he's been preparing for the worst, but isn't letting his condition get him down. Ji Min really is a strong person, strong enough to even bring out the strength in me, he's been very supportive of me. Sometimes I feel like I rely on him too much, and it's funny because I barely just met him. "You're going back to school next week right Celeste?" asks Ji Min, struggling with peeling an orange. Amused, I take the orange from him. "Yeah, don't remind me." I don't have a problem with going anymore, but the idea still displeases me." I struggle with the orange a little because of Ji Min's terrible job, but I manage to finish peeling it, and I hand it back to him.

"I can't decide whether I should be happy for you, or be upset because you probably won't be able to visit me as much." He's right. I don't know what to expect when I go back next week. I get nervous and scared thinking about how close the first day of school is. "I just hope I can last at least a month at school," I say more to myself than to him, "that would make mom really happy." Ji Min takes a bite at his orange and says "How about this. If you can last at least a month at school, i'll try to get permission from the hospital to go out, so we can celebrate somewhere fun. Deal?" A smile springs to my face, and I answer "It's a deal."

I nervously walk away from the car, towards the school building. I turn back towards my mom in the car, with my schedule clutched in my hand, and she gives me a supportive nod. I turn back towards the school, and continue walking. The school's really big, and has a really modern look. Most of the building seems to be made of glass, which makes it glow under the rising sun. There seems to be a lot of people talking with their friends near the entrance. Right now, I really wish I knew someone as well. If only Ji MIn went to this school. Oh well. Hopefully i'll make a new friend. As I walk into the building I look at my schedule to find my first class. Literature. Okay, so far i'm off to a good start. I have a really good sense of direction, so it didn't take me long to find my first class. I sit down near the back of the medieval looking classroom just as the bell rings. After announcements, Mrs.Smith, a plump and kind looking woman, calls roll. "Celeste Taylor." "Here" I squeak. Mrs.Smith smiles at me and says "Darling Celeste, you can't have your hoodie on in the building. Please take it off." I comply, and slowly slide my hood off, revealing my white hair. Mrs. Smith gasps in surprise "Darling, you have such beautiful hair, now why would you want to cover it?" I feel all eyes on me and I blush as Mrs.Smith continues calling roll.

I feel a light tap on my shoulder, and I turn to face a pretty black girl with blonde hair. "Hey, Celeste right? I'm Esther. Nice to meet you." I smile a toothy smile "Likewise."

The rest of the day went better than I expected, awesome even. Other than Esther, I had already met like 5 really cool people by the end of the day. My mom pulls up in the driveway and I hop into the car, excited to go see Ji Min and tell him about my day. Mom asks the most mainstream question that every parent asks on the first day of school "So, how was your first day of school?" "It was great mom" I reply, trying not to sound too excited. "Great, Ji Min just finished his routine check up, so we'll be on our way to see him." I can't wait to tell him everything that happened today. I walk into Ji Min's room happily, "Best friend, I'm here!" My excitement dims down a bit when I see Ji Min's face in a sorrowful, trance-like expression. "Ji Min?" I ask worriedly. Ji Min seems to snap out of his trance a bit when he looks up at me and smiles. "Celeste, how was school?" I brush off the bad feeling in my stomach and I smile back. "I think i'll be able to last way more than a month, so don't forget your promise." For the next few minutes, I ramble on and on about the school building, Mrs. Smith, Esther, the pebbles, the sky, everything. Except, Ji Min didn't seem too into it. 

"Ji Min, are you okay? What's wrong?" I ask. "Hm? It's nothing Celeste, i'm fine. So, what were you saying about the pebbles?" I don't buy it so I continue to pester, "Really, what's wrong with you? tell me." "It's really nothing, I said i'm fine" I sense anger rising from him, but i still persist. "Ji Mi-" before I can even finish his name, he roars "I SAID I'M FINE, DAMN IT!" I'm shocked by his outburst, but I don't keep quiet, and angrily shout back at him. "Don't give me any 'DAMN IT'! I'm genuinely worried about you, and this is how you answer me?" He glares at me and says, "Stop pestering me! I have more important things to worry about than your school or dumbass pebbles!" I immediately shoot back, "Well i'm sorry i'm not pitifully wasting my life away on a hospital bed." I regret it as soon as it comes out of my mouth. Ji Min's eyes are wide open with disbelief. "N-no, Ji Min, I didn't mean that, i'm sorry." He lets out a heavy sigh. "I think it's best if you leave now." Full of guilt I plead, "No Ji Min, i'm so sorry, I-" Ji Min interrupts "Leave. Please." I slowly get up from the bed, and shuffle towards the door. "I'm really sorry" I whisper as a tear forms, blurring my vision. Before exiting I spot what looks like a tear slowly rolling down his pale cheek.

After our argument, I haven't seen Ji Min in nearly a month, and we should have been on our "date" by this time. School has been great, but it all feels bleek not having Ji Min to share it with. The exchange we had during our argument plays over and over in my head, and guilt mercilessly chokes the life out of me. I need to make amends. I have to. I asked my mom if I could visit him, and we're already on our way to the front desk of the hospital. My mom smiles at the attendants at the front desk and says, "We'd like to visit with Kim Ji Min please." The nurses exchange sorrowful glances, and one of them reply "I'm so sorry ma'am, but Mr. Kim Ji Min passed away just 3 days ago." What? What the hell did she just say? I shove my mom to let me through. "Stop playing, and sign us in, me and Ji Min have a date to be on." My mom grabs my shoulder, "Celeste, calm down, please." Calm down? When they're telling me he's dead? When we haven't even made up yet? Calm down? "Fine, i'll go to his room by myself" I dash towards the elevator that leads to Ji Min's room, as my mom yells my name, and the nurses call for security. Suddenly in held down by two strong hands, and all I can think of is seeing Ji Min.

"NO! LET ME GO!" I scream as I wrestle with a guard on the floor. "JI MIN STOP PLAYING AND COME OUT!" I shout with all my might. "Ma'am please calm down!" shouts a guard. "Celeste, please accept that he's gone, and calm down!" sobs my mother behind me. "He can't be! What about his mother! What about our date! What about me… we haven't even made up yet.." I cry, and my energy slowly fades. All I can do is sob uncontrollably, on the floor as the nurses repeatedly apologize. 

My mom knocks on my door silently, and walks in wearing her black funeral clothes and says,"Sweetie, hurry up or we'll be late to Ji Min's funeral." Without turning to look at her, I slowly nod my head and grab my communication pad. Ji Min's death took my voice, as easily as his presence had given it to me. After some time, we arrive at the place for the funeral, Ji Min's house. It's surprisingly beautiful. We walk into the house, and there doesn't seem to be a lot of people. It makes sense since he never really had the time to socialize, being stuck to his hospital bed and all. The room has a really depressing atmosphere, that suddenly lights up when I see Ji Min's mother walk towards us. This is my first time seeing her, and she really looks like him. She gives us a sad, warm smile and says, "You must be Mrs. Taylor and Celeste. From the bottom of my heart I thank you for being here." My mom returns the smile and says "No, the pleasure is ours." Ms. Kim turns her attention to me, and pulls an envelope out from her purse. "Celeste, this is a letter Ji Min wrote for you 3 weeks after your argument. The poor thing felt so guilty, and wouldn't stop talking about you. He asked me to give this letter to you, in hopes that you would forgive him." I give Ms. Kim a pained smile and I clutch the letter to my chest.

I take a deep breathe as I open the letter addressed to me in a little corner by myself, away from the mourning of all the other mourners. I begin to read Ji Min's beautiful cursive handwriting.

'Dear Celeste, 

first of all, i'm really sorry for yelling at you. I know you were only worrying about me. I couldn't tell you what was on my mind because I didn't want you to worry. It had to do with my cancer. The doctors said that I only had less than a month left to live.'

Oh my God. Hot tears sting my eyes and threaten to roll down my cheek. I continue to read.

'It's not like I wasn't interested in how you day was. I was just so scared at the moment, and couldn't really focus, but from what I could tell, you seem to have had an awesome day, which is wonderful news. I'm really sorry. I don't think we'll be able to go on that date that I promised though. I was really excited about that.' I try the best I can to stop the tears from coming, but they slowly emerge.

'Hey Celeste, thanks. Thank you for keeping me company. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for being alive. Thank you for bringing me to life. Thank you for making my life seem beautiful again. I have one favor to ask of you. Even when i'm gone, be happy because you should know that your life truly is beautiful and worth living.. Yours forever and truly, Ji Min.'

The tears pour. Ji Min. Ji Min! I'm sorry! Thank you! Thank you so much! My mom pats my shoulder from behind and asks, "What's wrong sweetie? What did the letter say?" The warmth in my heart causes me to smile brightly despite the tears and snot running down my face. Somehow, I find my voice and manage to say, "Nothing's wrong mom." I smile even more. "Life is so very beautiful, don't you think?"


End file.
